When Marriage Hurts: 3 Steps That Turn Wounds Into Gold

Every few months, Julie and I sit down with a counsellor to talk about our lives and our marriage. It’s like a service for the soul—a chance to notice where we’ve been coasting, where we’ve been colliding, and where we need a tune-up. At our most recent session, our counsellor gave us some advice that…

Tag: acknowledge-feelings, marriage

Men We Need To Talk

An open letter to our brothers, fathers, and sons. (As I gear up to be a panelist on the “Expresso Morning Show” on Monday 20 June on the subject of mental health in fathers, I thought I’d repost this article, which I recently wrote for www.manbox.co.za.) Whilst our world is facing immense challenges on every…

Tag: acknowledge-feelings

Unmasking Big Emotions in Little (and Grown-up) People

This article is by my co-blogger Julie, with whom I have at least five things (humans, actually) in common. While the global pandemic isn’t officially over yet, most of us (and our kids) have had to launch out of lockdown and hit the ground running again – this time, with masks on. While these masks…

Tag: acknowledge-feelings, listening

Lily and the Bee Sting: Don’t Take It Personally

This one by my wife, Julie Williams I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day and she shared this sweet story of her niece… Lily, aged 4, got stung by a bee. Like any self-respecting 4-year-old, she proceeded to wail. Then after the initial shock and sting had subsided, Lily continued to…

Tag: acknowledge-feelings, life-lessons

Should We Use TIME OUT or TIME IN With Our Kids?

Should we use Time Out or Time In with our small kids? Yes. Julie and I use both with our younger kids. We’re fans of Time In. Kids act their worst when they feel their worst. They need love and connection most when they deserve it least. The cool thing about Time In is that…

Tag: acknowledge-feelings, authority, boundaries-rules, misbehaviour

How to Listen When Your Kids Speak So They Listen When You Speak

I can’t believe I am writing an article on listening! By nature I suck at it. So says my wife, and she should know. But in the last few years I have grasped what a liability that is – not just as a husband, but especially now that I am a dad! So I have…

Tag: acknowledge-feelings, listening, responsive-listening

Helping Our Kids To Get Up Again – A True Story

One of the most difficult things for us parents to do is helping our kids to get up again when life and others knock them down. Yesterday I did my best to do just that for one of my boys. It was his first day back at school. Late yesterday afternoon he asked to do…

Tag: acknowledge-feelings, belayer-parent, life-lessons, listening, power-of-words, responsive-listening

Tired of arguing with your child or teen? (Pt 2) Four steps to defusing their resistance

I’ve had enough of the constant challenges to my authority (I have 5 kids). But I also dread becoming a tyrant. Is there a better way than coming down strongly on my kids every time? Mysteriously (for low-EQ dudes like me at least) the more I validate my kid’s feelings of disagreement with my decision,…

Tag: acknowledge-feelings, arguing-with-kids, authority, listening, overcome-resistance, responsive-listening

Tired of arguing with your child or teen? (Pt 1) How to deflect an argument before it begins

It can’t be avoided. Practical parenting involves refusing our kid’s requests, or telling them what to do or what to stop doing. No matter how nice I am, I have to do this, sometimes several times a day. ‘You can’t swim now.’ ‘Now’s not the best time to watch that.’ ‘I don’t think it’s best…

Tag: acknowledge-feelings, arguing-with-kids, authority, overcome-resistance

When Marriage Hurts: 3 Steps That Turn Wounds Into Gold

Men We Need To Talk

Unmasking Big Emotions in Little (and Grown-up) People

Lily and the Bee Sting: Don’t Take It Personally

Should We Use TIME OUT or TIME IN With Our Kids?

How to Listen When Your Kids Speak So They Listen When You Speak

Helping Our Kids To Get Up Again – A True Story

Tired of arguing with your child or teen? (Pt 2) Four steps to defusing their resistance

Tired of arguing with your child or teen? (Pt 1) How to deflect an argument before it begins

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