Like it or not, when it comes to parenting, your example overshadows your words. ‘In the final analysis, your child’s character hinges on the traits you exhibit as a parent. And who you are as a parent isn’t left to fate, luck, or chance. You can choose to be the kind of parent you want…
You know the scariest part of parenting? They might not hear a word you say. But they don’t miss a deed you do. Who I am and what I do will ultimately mark the kind of people my children become. They tend to receive not just my physical genetic, but my moral and lifestyle genetic…
I’ve had enough of the constant challenges to my authority (I have 5 kids). But I also dread becoming a tyrant. Is there a better way than coming down strongly on my kids every time? Mysteriously (for low-EQ dudes like me at least) the more I validate my kid’s feelings of disagreement with my decision,…
It can’t be avoided. Practical parenting involves refusing our kid’s requests, or telling them what to do or what to stop doing. No matter how nice I am, I have to do this, sometimes several times a day. ‘You can’t swim now.’ ‘Now’s not the best time to watch that.’ ‘I don’t think it’s best…
It’s Friday fun night. Homemade pizzas in their bellies, the three oldest kids are watching a DVD, but it grinds to a halt, too scratched to play any further. Trying to protect the fun, I cheerfully announce, ‘Come kids, we’re going back to the DVD store for another one. Who’s coming with?’ Fynn (5) comes…
I don’t know about you, but the temptation to rescue my child is very strong. For example, the other day I dropped off my five-year-old Fynn at school. There were four boys kicking a soccer-ball around. ‘Yay, I can play soccer,’ gasped my boy with raw enthusiasm ‘No, you can’t! It’s just the four of…
People generally resist a formula for something as complex as parenting. I hate oversimplifications too. But this formula really works. The other day I saw the connection between my garden and my kids. Cultivating our lawn and constantly battling against its slow progression toward overgrown unwieldiness, is a lot like cultivating the behavior of our…
Through our example, we pass on to our kids the good, the bad and the ugly of who we are. When Eli was almost 3, he climbed in our bed and let out a long multisyllabic fart with pride. Thrilled by his gaseous accomplishment, he then interpreted it for us: ‘My bum says, ‘Waaake uuup,…
It’s hard. Much harder than you can imagine. Much, much harder. A few months ago a friend of mine who is a professional therapist said, ‘A family with a kid under the age of 3 is in crisis mode.’ At first I thought that was a bit negative. Upon reflection, I conclude they’re understating it….
Of course there are many dimensions to parenting – all of them critical – but one stands head and shoulders above the rest. It towers so far above the other principles that it deserves to be called The Secret to Parenting. Let me tell you a story of when Eli was three to illustrate what…
